Team! I know I usually post things on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, but I wanted to try something a little different. One of the things I wish I could do better was incorporate more humor into my writing, or at least develop a sense of comedic timing on the page. What better way to get better at something than to do it! Thus, I give you this blog's newest weekly feature: Tone's Tuesday Monologue. Every Tuesday I'm going to attempt to write some witty jokes about what's happening in the world (in the style of late night monologues). So without further ado, here goes the first attempt.

The Approximite Value of a Ton of UnobtainiumLast week Avatar won best drama and James Cameron won best director at the Golden Globes. Fans are calling it vindication for their unashamed love of this movie and proof that Avatar will win best picture at the Oscars. If Avatar wins best picture, Cameron has stated that he'll donate the Oscar's weight in unobtainium to relief efforts in Haiti. 

Also last week, Taco Bell founder Glen Bell died at the age of 86. His request for a last meal? The same seven ingredients combined into as many different combinations as possible: The Taco Bell Value Menu. (By the way, it's 5040 combinations).

Developers of the "Sarc Marc" have gained a lot of internet popularity, letting people know that they have developed a way for people to understand sarcasm easily on the internet. All you have to do is insert their special symbol after a statement to let people know you are being sarcastic. It only costs 1.99 for the "Sarc Marc" rights. That sounds like a waste of money. I'd put the "Sarc Marc" here... but seriously, it's a waste of money.

McDonald's profits have jumped 23% in 2009. In an unrelated trend, American obesity has grown by 230% in 2009.

Finally, Amazon announced that they are going to be opening their own app store for the Kindle. Kindle users are excited to play games like "Press the Next Page Button as Fast as You Can," and "Look at How Much Money I Have, I Own a Kindle," and my personal favorite, "Buyer's Remorse."

James Cameron's "Avatar" has been making all kinds of money over the last couple of weeks. There has to be some quality behind all the buzz right? I mean, Cameron has been thinking about this movie for over 20 years, it has to have some depth; it should bring something huge to the table. So the real question is, is "Avatar" the Blue Man Group of cinema or is it just a case of cinematic blue balls?

When talking about this movie, it is impossible to not mention how pretty it actually is. For real, it is one of the most stunning pieces of cinematic art I have ever seen. What makes it so impressive is Cameron's use of 3D. Before this movie, I always found 3D to be very gimmicky and just about watching things feel like they are flying at my face. Cameron does something unique with 3D that no one has ever done before, he treats it like art. Instead of seeing in what ways 3D could be used to startle the audience, 3D for Cameron has depth, control, and subtlety. It's like all of the wonderful things about good cinematography are not being approached on a 3-dimensional level. It takes a new way of approaching cinema to understand how truly challenging this is.

One of the most impressive things about "Avatar" is how well thought out the world of Pandora is. My first interaction with "Avatar" was in the December edition of Wired magazine. In this issue, the feature article on "Avatar" described Cameron's journey to create this world. Everything is thought out completely. For example, he worked with a linguistic to develop not only an alien language, but a language with syntax and grammar. The language was so thought out that the linguist had to be on set to correct the actors when they mispronounced words, even though the language was not real. Cameron even worked with botanists to describe biologically how every plant on Pandora worked. To say that the world of Pandora is well thought out is the understatement of the year. That's what happens when you think about an idea for 20+ years.

Visuals and special effects are great, but what about the story? Surely a movie that has been this deep in thought has a plot that would blow us all away. The way that I've described it to friends is that "Avatar" is what would have have happened if Michael Bay made "Pocahontas." Michael Bay because there are all kinds of unnecessary explosions (but they sure look pretty) and "Pocahontas" because I seriously thought they were going to start singing "Colors of the Wind." But for real, the plot is pretty typical for the colonization genre (if that genre exists, think "Dances with Wolves") and not too surprising. The plot's not bad... but it's not good either.

But the reason this movie will be remembered is because of the implications of what it means to filmmakers. Filmmakers are going to have to start thinking about what exactly 3D means to their films and how it can even be incorporated into the story. It also means that the sky is the limit when it comes to the imagination. "Avatar" has shown us that computer technology is capable of creating anything that we can think of our in our minds.

"Avatar" is definitely worth a see, but not because of how the story will move you, but because of how much awe you will be in when watching this film. Plus, if you can see it in IMAX, you should just pay the couple of extra bucks. In order to appreciate what you are watching, the giant screen helps. 4 out of 5.